Joyce and Howard Cady on their wedding day, June 22, 1957. Courtesy photo
Howard and Joyce Cady are celebrating 60 years of marriage June 22, 2017. Courtesy photo
They met on the tennis courts at the University of California, Berkeley. She was playing tennis with her best friend and he was playing with a friend on the next court over. He was a chemistry graduate student and she was an elementary school teacher taking classes at Berkeley in her spare time.
They were married June 22, 1957, and this weekend Cady and the former Joyce McElhinney celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary.
After her tennis game, Joyce and her friend went to a little diner across the street. Howard and his friend showed up at the diner and asked Joyce’s friend for Joyce’s phone number. The couple chuckles when Joyce tells how she thought Howard was “too nerdy” and definitely not her type. She soon found out they both not only enjoyed tennis but shared a passion for classical music and the ballet, as well as a love for skiing.
In addition to enjoying each other’s company, Howard found that Joyce had more common sense than the average woman at the time and the couple fell in love.
Not long after Howard finished his PhD and was preparing to start his new job in Los Alamos, the couple got married. Joyce taught at Los Alamos Public Schools until they started a family. Howard says she went to work on their family as a teacher and did an amazing job. Joyce says their four children were tremendous and Howard says Joyce made sure they all got along with each other and that she was a good referee.
Howard says Los Alamos was a good place to raise children. Joyce says Los Alamos High School was the best school in the United States and a beautiful place because it’s safe and kids can find their way. Their oldest son, John works in the Anthropology Department at the University of Washington in Seattle. He and his wife, Chris have two children, Elizabeth and George. Their second oldest, Tom, is a chemical engineer at Oak Ridge, Tenn. He and his wife, Teresa, have three children, Brian, Keven and Kimberly. Their daughter Carol is an MD, PhD, in Missoula, Mont., and their youngest son, Carl, is a PhD at Los Alamos National Laboratory.
Asked why they believe they have had such a long and happy marriage, Howard says they learned to scream and yell at each other and take turns not paying attention. He says they have taken turns taking care of each other through illnesses and not complained about it. Joyce says they figured out a middle line on things, somewhat his way and somewhat hers. They both believe there is a lot of compromise in any marriage that works.
Since Howard’s retirement in 1992, the couple has continued to enjoy classical events in Santa Fe and Los Alamos. Joyce says they both enjoy the symphonies and Los Alamos Arts Council programs and that Howard compromises on one opera a year. They walk every day and never miss working out four times a week if they can avoid it. Howard is an avid reader and enjoys his computer time. Joyce is well-versed in the stock market and reads financial updates daily.
All their children and grandchildren except for one grandchild will join them for a family celebration of their anniversary this weekend at their Los Alamos home.